My Time Alone
by Korey
Summary: What Jesus felt when Father left His presence at the cross. This was before Jesus died and the Holy Spirit was unleashed.


It was almost over. It would be over soon. He had endured, He had done everything there needed to be done. Now everything was about to be at peace. He had endured everything, they had taken everything from Him, but they could not take away His hope.

He felt himself getting weak as the pain in His hands and feet throbbed in His veins. Blood stung at His eyes, blurring His vision. Cruel words were hurled at Him, and He bowed His head at the abstruseness. How could something that came from Father be so evil? Suddenly, it happened. His veins not only leaked out the elements of sacrifice, it leaked out Presence. It was disappearing before His eyes, faster and faster and He could do nothing to stop it. The only pain felt was the absence, the emptyness in His heart. Dearth seemed to be the only word in His vocabulary as He searched desperately for His companion. Why had He left?

His lack of strengh made it difficult for Him to speak, but still He managed. "Father?" Tears burned down His cheeks; where was He? It was the only question that now prodded His mind. "Father, why did you leave me?" Fear gripped His heart, a pressure forming in His throat. "Father!" He looked around frantically, now susceptible to the happenings around Him. Everything was black and distorted, His heart beat quickened as the emptiness grew. His breathing grew harder, His muscles clenched. All He wanted to do was crawl back into His Father's arms, protected and safe. He could feel the enemy near Him...

"Father! Father, please!" This fear was disorienting, and the harsh words of His people were only a minor worriment compared to the current situation. He was lost, and most likely someone he couldn't trust would come by to pick Him up and bring Him to their strange home. Father was home. He wanted to go home. Darkness clouded His mind as He sobbed, helpless. He looked down at His tortured body, every scar a consequence of the people around Him. Everytime a person sinned, present or future, their scar burned.

Blood came out of His mouth. He looked down at His mother, but all He saw was evil. He looked to the man at His right, at His left, and all He saw was sin. The evil grin of sin filled His vision, and He saw the world as it would be without Father. He searched despondently for His Father, but to no avail. They had taken his clothes before, but only now could he feel His nudity. They had taken His clothes, but only now could he feel _exposure_...

Cruel nails dug deep into his skin, protruding even on the other side, preventing Him from wrapping His arms around Himself as a fruitless effort to fend off whatever the enemy had in store for Him. "Father..." His hiccups were getting worse, causing extreme pains to His damaged diaphram.

"Shut up!" A soldier shouted, pretending to be annoyed with Him. He, however, could see right past the angry sneer of the man right down to the sadistic smile of the enemy beneath. It smiled smugly at Him without hesitation, for it had won. Father...

He closed His eyes, attempting to rid His vision of the triumphant abhor in the enemy's smile. His heart chilled as the vision became stronger, the repugnance of the face clear in His mind's eye. He quickly reopened His eyes with a silent scream, but the enemy remained.

Torment and cruelty, wickedness and hypocrisy... Visions, of cruelty and brutality plagued His mind as He stared down at the bloodthirsty foe.

Dysphoria and hopelessness, sorrow and tribulation was what he had in store for the future; disorder and sin. The enemy directed his prevailing grin towards Him as He started to convulse out of pure dread. He was overwhelmed with terror, and the enemy enjoyed it greatly with a prosperous look on his face. Corruption and greed...

The Father looked down from above at the enemy's false sense of security. The Son, His Son, had suffered enough. What was to be done was now finished, and all They had to do was await the time in which They would release the Holy Ghost.

"FATHER!"

He was fearful until He felt a golden warmth touch His heart. It started with His Love, and spread out among Compassion and Order. The Presence surged through His veins once again, and this time when He looked at the face of the enemy, He felt no fear. He looked to His mother, and her heart was filled with goodness and virtude, caring and love... The man to His right, humble and ashamed of his sins, but with a secret nameplate in Heaven. Warm and protected under the glorious wings of His Father, he had only the physical and emotional pain to grieve, for the spiritual, never again.

He shuddered at the memory, and still felt very bad for having to go through with it, but now They just had to wait, for Good ALWAYS triumphed over evil.


End file.
